Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
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Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
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if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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