the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
