In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Are we still banned from the library?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
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Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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