I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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