Buhtt sex?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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