that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
