whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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