Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
