Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize