If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
