I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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