The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Your penis caused this!
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