bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
