Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
