I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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