Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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