I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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