I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize