k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
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I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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