Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
