Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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