ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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