how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
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Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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