Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry MeatspinMike hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Darwin at his finest.

Fav 25 6226 1549
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.

Fav 20 4999 1586
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(620): View more from Kansas

The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.

Fav 3 4188 1018
share tweet
(850): View more from Florida

If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.

Fav 21 1813 5272
share tweet
(979): View more from Texas

Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

Fav 5 3136 1146
share tweet
(831): View more from California

high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.

Fav 3 1835 807
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.

Fav 17 2056 821
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.

Fav 0 164 64
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?

(1-206): View more from Washington

That was me Mom...

Fav 2 32 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT