Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize