She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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