i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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