Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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