I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
