if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize