we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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