Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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