she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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