it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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