I'm drive I can fine osifer
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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