they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
