I could make wine with my vomit
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
