Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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