She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
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That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize