not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize