I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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