Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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