ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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