His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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