I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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