Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize