i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
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i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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