if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.