Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am