There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
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Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.