i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on