So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.