i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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