you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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